You currently find me hungover in bed, and having already been in bed for at least half an hour (time is now 10pm). I know it has been a very long time since I last blogged, but time has not been my friend recently. So little of it, and so much to do in that time. We've had so much work, and Christmas was hardly a holiday; more of a break from lectures and seminars just to do our assignments. I know the moment I step into school on Monday I'll be fine and I'll know why I'm doing it all, but I know I'm not the only one whose feeling like I'm losing sight of why I'm doing all this work in the first place. But tomorrow, we're going to go shopping and enjoy our last day of not having an urgent need to do work right that second and shop our little minds away.
Now, for the main reason of my blog. The drama that we have had this week has been UNREAL. After waking up last Saturday morning to discover that friend #1 had gone back with friend #2's friend after Fruity, things went from bad to worse. Friend #2 found out, and was ignoring friend #1. #2 had every right to do this of course, but it just made an already awkward house even more uncomfortable. Then friend of #2 piped up thinking #1 has 'issues'. And told me that I needed to tell her this, along with him saying a lot of other stuff that upset me greatly. So on Thursday night, I told #1, in the nicest possible way, a few things that upset her. The situation really upset me too, because I hate being the bearer of bad news, and yes, it does always seem to be me being this bearer. It was with the house, and it was with the issues, and I am actually quite fed up of it. It's one of those things; regardless of if one person is portraying the views of many, they will always be the one to hold the blame because its just a psychological thing to associate the awful feelings you have when you hear bad news with the person who told you. So I'm now going to be associated in her mind with bad feelings because I'm always the one to tell her. Now, does this make me a good or a bad friend? Personally, I feel shit about it. I've had a shit week, and I just can't wait to get on placement and forget about this all. My main hope is that once we get on placement and we're all tired in the evenings, the atmosphere will just start to get better. Because at the moment, its unbearable. We can't all sit in the same room together without someone getting pissed off. It's really upsetting because these are two of the most stubborn people you'll ever meet, and while they've both been wronged, we all have to live together. They've never been the best of friends, but it's never been this bad. You can never please everyone, and at the moment, I'm pleasing no-one. I feel crap. I literally hate talking about this all because it just upsets me so much but I've had to get this off my chest.
Love and peace to all,
kjxxx
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